Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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