Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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