she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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