my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
