i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
