Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
