Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
