At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
