He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Your tits are I can't wait for
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
