I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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