that's an acceptable place to lick
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
