she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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