You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
