Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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