is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
