you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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