You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
wakey wakey hands off snakey
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
