It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
