butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
