I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
