this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
