dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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