we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
