I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm like, not good at living.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
