What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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