Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
