I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize