I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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