After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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