I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
