toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
