it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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