hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he thought i was a dude.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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