I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
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