Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
