using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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