i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
