If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
