I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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