Whod you bang
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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