My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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