everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
