We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
