Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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