You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
