do herpes really smell.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
