i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We have started to decorate penises.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
