Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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