Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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