So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
