Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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