This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
