Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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