i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
