This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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