I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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