Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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