Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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