If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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