I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
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The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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