She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
