he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
