i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This is the high leading the old right now
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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