My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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