I was born with a shot glass in my hand
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Drunk is not a location!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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