It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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