I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
