Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
